New Beginnings

Some pictures to show you a little bit about break

I spoiled the dog, really bad. He just, ah he looks at you with those eyes, and you have to give him treats. It's bad, good thing he's not my child.

Our Christmas Tree has so many ornaments, seriously, i'm pretty sure we didn't even put them all out. AND we still have one in the front room, and my brother and I's bedroom. We just love Christmas.

PASSION 2011. This picture is from the GO-Center, I thought it could sum up the whole experience in itself. Just imagine a large room filled with thousands of college students giving money to those in need. It gives me chills.

PASSION!

Before we went to camp for the party and wedding, we got snowed in and what better thing to do than snowboard?

Those were the pictures from break, and here are the thoughts...

I find it kind of funny in an ironic way that when I have the most free time I end up not blogging. Yet when I am the most swamped with things I should be doing I am on here writing about what is going on in my life.

Maybe that is more idiotic than ironic, as far as grades and priorities are concerned.

Tomorrow I leave my lovely home in the "warm" state without snow, and venture back to school with a pit stop in Durham, NC for the night.

It would by lying to tell you that i'm excited to go back, and it's not because I don't love my school or because I don't have good friends, because I do have some GREAT friends there. It's just, home is sweet, and a joy to be at. Home is comfort, and home is where people not just in my family, but Church family as well, have seen me and know me for who I am and see who I can be.

For a long time I thought if I just got away from all of this "being at home" stuff, that my life would really start, and everything would change, people would fall in love with me because I was ME, and not because I was so-and-so's daughter/sister/niece/friend. And although people do know me at school and camp without those labels and it's a blessing; I do miss being able to say "I'm Lindsey, you know ______'s ______" and have people go "Oh yes! I have heard about you" or "My, how you have grown up, tell me what is going on in your life".

I wish I could tell you all of the great goodness that has gone on in my life this past month on break. I was in one of my best friends weddings, I got to spend time at camp, I went to PASSION (and that in itself should have it's own post), and I got to hang out with people I haven't seen in a few months. I got to visit the youth group, and pop into different small groups and see how my favorite middle school and high school girls were doing. I had the chance to eat the weekly Sunday lunch with my "second family". I got to just relax and be with people who love me unconditionally, and that is a true blessing.

Something that I love is when you get to be around people who are vulnerable with you. Let me explain, I think in a friendship and a community of believers it is important to be able to be honest and open with each other. To sit with tears and through the brokenness of your heart be able to say "I'm struggling with this, and to be honest, I don't know what to do" and not worry about them thinking "no way, I can't believe that, well she isn't as strong as I thought she was" but coming along side of you and saying "I absolutely understand your pain, let me pray with you". I miss that. I have godly friends at school, but sometimes you need more than your peers, but older adults. Which is a little hard to find at a college with the majority of people in their early 20's. But, the Lord is faithful.

The biggest thing I can take away from this break is that for this past semester my identity was so found in ministry, and going higher up in ministry to girls on my hall. It's a great thing, but not when I am putting in my answer for God and not truly taking time to seek His. It took things changing suddenly and really unexpectedly so that it would be impossible for me to even apply for that ministry; for me to see that it wasn't what God had planned for me. Then, I stood at Passion and worshipped the Lord Jesus with 23,000 college students and heard incredible men and women of God say that it didn't matter your age God could use you to change the world. CHANGE THE WORLD. That's not a small thing, and it couldn't be done alone, but only through and for the name of Jesus Christ and His precious gospel.

So long I have tried to do this alone, and be a great woman of God, but I was missing something, I was missing my saving grace, the only One who could provide for my desires.

I know what God will do in my life will exceed my wildest imaginations, and it will be astonishing because it won't be anything I can do on my own apart from Him. I know satan will hate it, and I know that there will be a battle, but I also know, and was reminded of the team that stands behind me, the ones fighting along side of me for the same goal. To glorify the name of Jesus.

Jesus, On my knees, here I fall, in spite of it all

Hallelujah

And though it seems hard, I still trust in your love

Hallelujah

I have fallen so far, flat on my face

I’m in need of your grace today

Hallelujah

Sing hallelujah, amen

I guess it doesn't matter how I feel about going back to school, and living in my dorm room, and taking, dare I say the awful word, MATH. It doesn't really matter because that's what God has called me to do; and God, He never lets what He is doing in your life go uncompleted.