I'm sorry. No one likes a cheater.
Long Easter weekend! Chelsea is coming with me to stay with my family, if she only knew what she was getting herself into :P
I just wanted to write a short little thing, because that's how I do…I think that would have worked out better if you could have heard me say it, that doesn't sound gansta at all. Anyways,
I have a problem, good are bad, I don't think I care anyone else's opinion. Only because…well, i'm not sure, but my blog post so let me continue. I have huge desires for my life, some may think that's good and some may think the underlying selfishness in the fact that they are MY plans is bad. I am in the middle.
What I mean is, there are things I have wanted to do for years. Such as, get married, my mother always told me that i've been dreaming of being married since I was like 5. That's a long time and I think that's one of those desires that is from God, I mean, it's obviously a consistent desire…I digress. I want to do something BIG for God, I don't know exactly other than I would love to work for a large Christian organization. Not because that would make me a better Christian, but because I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I would love to work with teens/college students…you know, because I am so much older and wiser :P, really just because these years are hard. Anyways, you get the picture, I have dreams.
I think the biggest problem in my life is fear. I'm going to put some Websters in this joint, these are the many definitions of fear, I dare you to find yourself in it.
"an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat : drivers are threatening to quit their jobs in fear after a cabby's murder | fear of increasing unemployment | he is prey toirrational fears.• archaic a mixed feeling of dread and reverence : the love and fear of God.• ( fear for) a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone :police launched a search for the family amid fears for their safety.• the likelihood of something unwelcome happening : she could observe the other guests without too much fear of attracting attention.verb [ trans. ]be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening : he said he didn't care about life so why should he fear death? | [with clause ] farmers fear that they will lose business.• [ intrans. ] ( fear for) feel anxiety or apprehension on behalf of : I fear for the city with this madman let loose in it.• [with infinitive ] avoid or put off doing something because one is afraid : they aim to make war so horrific that potential aggressors will fear to resort to it.• used to express regret or apology :"
Yep, there are a few of those I could probably fit into at least once a week. There is something i'm learning, well, in the slow process of learning. It's more like, well like when you have a canker sore and you have to put that nasty tasting numbing gel on it. The pain, ah, you could punch someone because you are touching a tender sore in your mouth, then the taste gets on your tongue and so you are now not only in pain but ingesting a awful tasting concoction. Really, it seems like the farthest from sane things for that first second, you think "Why? Why would I do this!!" then another second passes and your sore and mouth suddenly fill with a tingly sensation. The pain is temporarily gone and the medicine is healing the sore so it won't continue to remain in your mouth for much longer. That's the process of sanctification i'm in. Sometimes I feel the tingling, but then I take a drink of water to wash out the bitter taste, and the sore, which didn't have time to get nourished by the medicine is back and radiating pain once more.
I sometimes wonder who else feels this way, because I know that I am not alone in my doubts, and worries, fears, and bouts of sadness. I think we have those seasons sometimes, where it's just painful, you know there is joy but for the moment it is sadness that is overcoming. I'm so thankful that we have Christ, no matter how we FEEL, i've been learning how important having faith is. No matter what season it is, we have a reason to praise, Jesus Christ is our Savior, Beloved, and Lord.
I'm thankful that even though fear and doubt, and all of those other emotions that make up those sore's in our life come, even though there are things that hurt us deeply. I'm thankful that we have a God who is a giver, He gives us strength, grace, salvation, love, hope…the list could go on. We have a GREAT High Priest.
So thankful that Jesus came as a man to this earth, in the midst of our depravity and seeing us for who we really are, and died a death he didn't deserve to shed his precious blood as an atonement for my sins. For the sins of the whole world. How unworthy we are and how absolutely worthy He is.
Yep, there are a few of those I could probably fit into at least once a week. There is something i'm learning, well, in the slow process of learning. It's more like, well like when you have a canker sore and you have to put that nasty tasting numbing gel on it. The pain, ah, you could punch someone because you are touching a tender sore in your mouth, then the taste gets on your tongue and so you are now not only in pain but ingesting a awful tasting concoction. Really, it seems like the farthest from sane things for that first second, you think "Why? Why would I do this!!" then another second passes and your sore and mouth suddenly fill with a tingly sensation. The pain is temporarily gone and the medicine is healing the sore so it won't continue to remain in your mouth for much longer. That's the process of sanctification i'm in. Sometimes I feel the tingling, but then I take a drink of water to wash out the bitter taste, and the sore, which didn't have time to get nourished by the medicine is back and radiating pain once more.
I sometimes wonder who else feels this way, because I know that I am not alone in my doubts, and worries, fears, and bouts of sadness. I think we have those seasons sometimes, where it's just painful, you know there is joy but for the moment it is sadness that is overcoming. I'm so thankful that we have Christ, no matter how we FEEL, i've been learning how important having faith is. No matter what season it is, we have a reason to praise, Jesus Christ is our Savior, Beloved, and Lord.
I'm thankful that even though fear and doubt, and all of those other emotions that make up those sore's in our life come, even though there are things that hurt us deeply. I'm thankful that we have a God who is a giver, He gives us strength, grace, salvation, love, hope…the list could go on. We have a GREAT High Priest.
So thankful that Jesus came as a man to this earth, in the midst of our depravity and seeing us for who we really are, and died a death he didn't deserve to shed his precious blood as an atonement for my sins. For the sins of the whole world. How unworthy we are and how absolutely worthy He is.
