Oh, there are things I am starting to detest. One of them being the end of a semester. I love the end of Fall semester because You get a month off; i'm not digging the end of the year though, because I am comfortable now. No, I don't want to be stuck in these classes anymore and yeah, I would like to get out of my dorm. But new hall, new RA's new leadership team. New college for the summer, now under my parents roof again. Everything is different. And i'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

I also am so tired of lies, truth is found in Christ, I understand that. But I am sick of hearing that a size 2 is pretty, perfectly composed hair is ideal, a guy will only like you if...., ect. It is SO frustrating. I don't even understand, and honestly i'm starting to give up on the whole "perfect guy" thing, I mean, no man is perfect, but it just seems like even the "godly men" are just messing around and doing whatever they want; but yeah sure i'll take that...no...no..no. That's NOT fair, if it happened in the past sure, forgiven. But, if right now it's going on, I mean come on we all know that someday we will be married to someone...is there no sanctity in marriage anymore? i'm really fine single. I actually enjoy it quite a bit..I know, I know, another lie "You really can't be happy/successful/normal if you are alone"; well i've done it for all this time. And really, God is the only one providing me satisfaction. Okay, I know this boils down to actually not trusting God with every area of my life. I'm working on it. One day at a time.

On the other hand I must say that I am so enthralled with finding new music, not just the boring stuff that everyone listens to but new things..I haven't found any in the past couple days so that's a fail, but hey, you can't always get what you want.

Oh, the end of the semester when lack of sleep, and frustration at life in general prevails.

A break will be good, really good. I think.

Don't worry, I really am not going psychotic, i'm a psych major so i'm coaxing myself back towards self actualization. Got to keep on that path, maybe this has something to do with my past...what stage am I stuck in? Just kidding.

This is why I need music, because psychology and graphic design, I LOVE them, they are wonderful. But music, that's what gets me through (okay, you know besides Christ) I can just sing and play music to get out my thoughts, or write, this is doing wonders for me too.

"In this life, I know what I am, here in your arms is where I stand. I'm forgiven, i'm forgiven. I don't have to carry the weight of who i've been, i'm a treasure in the arms of Christ"

Okay, I need sleep, I promise i'm okay and this is just out of frustration.I know God is faithful and He will fulfill all of His plans in His perfect timing. I'm totally up for surprises.