Someday Soon

I feel like my life hasn't changed at all since the last post. It's a waiting process.

You know when the leaves start to change and the smells of fall are fragrant, you know that a big change is coming. The weather is going to change, the colors will brighten before falling to the ground. Suddenly even though you've prepared for the changes, they still take you by surprise. You walk outside one morning and everything is red and yellow, and leaves flutter to the ground like snow. It's a glorious thing, something that I wait for all year.

We have to wait for everything, I feel like this very moment is how I feel on the inside. We have plans at 9, and we are just waiting. My heart is so full right now, and well it almost feels like a small rabbit is doing back flips inside of me. A feeling that I can't decide if it makes me want to laugh or throw up. Another story for another day.

I have to sensor my thoughts about what to write at this moment, because this isn't a diary, and even though there are things I want to say…I can't. But, there is a story I will say, although I am almost ashamed to say is me at times. I'm sure the story of Abraham and Sarah is well known, the angel came to tell them she would become pregnant and have a son; Sarah who was OLD, laughed at the angel. Because, no way she could get pregnant when she was almost old enough to be a great-grandmother; no way God would do that. Even though He promised this to them, it was impossible, right? Well, she thought so, then came Isaac.

I feel this way sometimes, I pray about specific situations, relationships, ministry opportunities, and then laugh because surely God wouldn't use me to do that, i've only been a prayer group leader, I….(fill in the blank with excuses I make) and God says, but i've promised this to you. I have this great plan for your life, TRUST me. Watch and see what I can do, WAIT on me and let me do this in MY timing; Not yours.

So, i'm rambling in this post, it's because i'm nervous about tonight. Okay, yes, i'm nervous, and it's not about Inception's ending.

I really like the story about Martha and Jesus after Lazarus' death. Martha is always remembered as the sister who was distracted with serving, while her sister sat and listened to Jesus' teaching. Martha was reprimanded by Jesus after she asked him to have Mary come help her; because her priorities weren't right. Well, in this next story she is in Jesus had known her brother was dying, but waited in a different city for 3 days before coming to see him; by this time Lazarus had already died. Instead of Martha being very upset and angry with Jesus for waiting to come she says to him "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you."

Jesus tells her that her brother will rise again, Martha knows Jesus can do anything, yet she doesn't ask the obvious question, she instead assumes he means when he is taken to heaven. Martha simply trusts that God's plan is enough, even though Jesus could have come sooner and saved her brother. She ends the conversation by saying "Yes Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world". She has no idea that Jesus planned on raising her brother from the dead after all. Martha simply trusted and waited in Christ and His plan exceeded her wildest expectations.

So, here I still sit, waiting on God. Holding on to His hand for dear life as He leads me. Even though it feels like i'm being lead me through the forest trails and my eyes are not yet adjusted to the dark. I know that once we get into an open part i'll be utterly amazed at the view….that it will be totally worth it. The unknown is just nerve-wracking, even if the Guide knows the perfect way and won't get lost. And someday soon i'll wake up and the leaves will be fluttering softly to the ground and i'll wonder when it happened so quickly. Someday Soon.

This song is stuck in my head: Someday Soon by Francesca Battistelli. :)