Not that I have anything mastered, if I ever claim that please find me and slap me in the face, I would be a liar.
I won't hide from you my heart though, I discovered something during Bible Study tonight that captivated me…not only was my beauty not something to hide, but my beauty was envied. No, I do not claim that I am the most beautiful on my outward appearance, and praise God! Because I know that it would become a source of pride in my heart. But, well, i'm just going to copy and paste what I sent to a dear friend of mine:
"Tonight in Bible Study, oh it was so intense, such a vulnerable time just to be transparent with other women. I am captivated by Christ, seriously…there is this joy that is exuding from my pores…haha gross analogy isn't it? But seriously, I have never felt such joy in this freedom in Christ. Seeing hurts in others and recognizing it as lies that I believed. Not that it's not a struggle, it's daily, hourly…but, I learned something I had NEVER heard or pondered before.
Satan, we hear that he was the most beautiful of all…he was gorgeous, but when he fell he lost that beauty. There is no way he can be beautiful ever again. Who did he attack in the garden? The very person that exhibited God's beauty, Eve. Who and what does he continue to attack, who does he try to make so vulnerable we break under the pressure? Women and our beauty, our worth.
I heard that and I was absolutely stunned. I had never thought about the beauty a woman holds as a threat to satan, but that's exactly it. Whether it's outward or inward, he wants to make us feel as though we aren't worth it because when we are masked by our insecurity we veil our beauty. But, it's the beauty of a woman that heals, it's the beauty of a woman's soul that can bind up broken hearts..it's the beauty of the heart that radiates to the outside that captivates.
I'm so in awe. Our beauty and worth have power. Of course satan is attacking you darling, because he see's who you are going to be and he's afraid of it. My friend, take heart right now. I know, I know, it's really really REALLY hard..but I feel like you're being attacked because He knows how strong you really are. You are worth it, you are absolutely beautiful, you have a heart that I admire. Everyone loves you because of your wisdom and your passion for the things of Christ. Don't let the lies penetrate you and get you down.
You are worth it and you are a valiant warrior beauty, and HE is fighting for you."
To be honest I feel this way about every woman, my heart breaks for all of us. O! The lies we have believed, the truth and love that God is waiting to bestow on us. He BESTOWS beauty on us.
Something that I feel God has called me to in the future is marriage, I would love to be married, but I do not think that it is a perfect love story like is depicted in movies.I guess, for so long i've been captivated by this idea of being married that I have been distracted from my True Love. Oh yes, I knew He was there, and I pursued him…half heartedly, but then I was romanced by Him. Romanced in the way that we as women desire, we seek it out in movies, or books..or whatever way we can. We fail though at finding a satisfying romance, we date around…and are not satisfied, some marry, and are not satisfied. Yet, we wonder "why?". Well, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in YOU" as St. Augustine said. It's so true. My goodness, i'm so captivated by how much he loves us. Seriously, He LOVES us with an unfailing love that is imperishable, He has given EVERYTHING, would DO anything to reveal that to us. Yet, we are blinded by satan. Blinded by lies. For so long, even during ministry I have been blinded..yes, I have served, but now with my heart having been broken and opened…everything is different.
My mind can no longer process and I feel as if I could go on for longer..but, sleep and early morning phone dates are calling my name…and the dentist that looks like a guy from camp.
No comments:
Post a Comment